Learning To Be Alone: Mourning The Loss Of High School Lunch Time

By week ten of my first semester at university, I had learnt the fastest route between my classes and how to take notes with lecture recordings at two times speed. Still, one antagonist remained undefeated: Eating Alone.

Throughout most of high school, I spent lunchtimes hooting and hollering with my gaggle of gal pals. In year twelve, we squeezed all nine of us onto four armchairs, whined about the woes of our looming exams and relished in the fantasy of our freedom come first year.

My freedom was spent watching the clock each 12 pm class, willing my stomach not to growl, and when the time finally came, scurrying all the way home to eat lunch in the comfort of my kitchen. The mere idea of standing alone in line to order food made my teeth ache with panic. Eating a packed lunch alone felt like a horrific little mouse moment. It wasn’t like I had never done things alone before; I adore solo shopping days and run errands independently with ease, but something about being in a learning environment alone felt so miserable and terrifying.

Normal People (2020)

As we near the end of week two, here's a shoutout to everyone who came to university without their high school friends and haven’t made lunch buddies yet. These are my tips for conquering this new and exciting chapter of independence:

The Comfort Playlist

Curate a collection of familiar and comforting songs that make you feel confident and at home. Listening to familiar songs in an unfamiliar setting can surface positive associations and help soothe your nerves. Sometimes, all you need is your theme song to feel like the main character entering the scene!

Dress To Impress

Look good, feel good! Purposely picking out an outfit you feel comfortable and confident in sets up your day for success and can help eliminate at least one thing that might make you feel unlike yourself. Something as small as doing your hair or makeup or wearing a nice perfume or cologne could make a world of difference in how you feel and carry yourself.

Built-in Besties

If you’re seeking new ride or dies, joining a student club is one of the easiest ways to meet like-minded people. While working and learning together on various projects, planning events and attending regular meetings, lifelong friendships, or at least some solid lunch buddies, are found. Seeing familiar faces around campus between classes reassures you with a sense of community and belonging.

For some, the social adjustment to university can feel overwhelming, turning something as simple as fuelling your body into something intimidating, or in my case, something I dreaded. As weeks pass, those solo lunch breaks become less daunting, and what once felt isolating now feels like a meditative routine. I’ve learned that being comfortable with myself in these moments is a skill that’ll serve me well beyond university. So, here’s to those mysterious main character solo lunches and embracing the process of becoming independent because we’re all in this together, even if we’re sometimes alone.